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Author Topic: boat ramp mishap  (Read 3413 times)

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boat ramp mishap
« on: June 09, 2011, 10:09:13 AM »
In my introductory post I said I had a story for ya, and this is it:
Warning. This is a true story. The actual names of the people have been changed to protect the innocent. Any swearing that may or may not have occurred (it did) has been replaced by a beep.
Characters;
My name is John (store owner and would be fisherman with 20 years boating experiences) and I’m not allowed to do anything without permission from the boss, coz I like a quiet life. Billy-Bob (spot the false name?) is a mate who comes into the shop to talk about fishing, grog and whatever’s doing the rounds. I like him coz he buys stuff too!

How it all Began
I went for a fish with Billy-Bob on Saturday for the first time. Bit of a surprise seeing as Linda had told me I wasn't going anywhere this weekend I had to do the fencing whilst she took over at the shop. That’s just natural progression when ya been married for thirty odd years. He rang from the shop saying she said I could go?? figure women out..nah not me! anyway caught a few fish. We caught a mixture of fish n a couple of crabs on our lines. Billy-Bob ended up with a Noahs feed..two brim..two blue Salmon..two muddies.
So far so good ya thinking? Well we did have an exciting start to the day, it went a little like this with
Billy-Bob is showing me his way of launching the boat...
On a brisk but calm winters morning we were readying the small ship for flotation into the good ol Burrum River via Buxton boat ramp.
Billy-Bob starts proudly fussing around the winch area of the trailer, obviously about to give me an insight on how an expert prepares a boat for launching,
"I got it”. Leaning into the bow of the boat Billy-Bob produces a clip attached to some blue and yellow rope about 6 or 7 metres or so in length. "I've got a bit of a system here check this out..this clip does this..blah blah". I’m looking on in sheer amazement at his system whilst bordering on who gives a sugar.
Billy-Bob attaches the clip to the nose of the boat. " See that clip locks onto the rope after going around the rail on the bow". I nod and give a small comment of encouragement. "cool..looks good mate". Holding tight to the rope Billy-Bob pushes the boat back along the rollers towards the water. It's a bit tough as she's sticking in one or two places so he clambers along the trailer frame to free her up. Grunt, grunt, shove ah..he's done it, she's free and the transom enters the water. Lovely..off she slides..and slides..and finally slips off altogether.
Slips off alright she gently glides out into the awaiting speeding current. Billy-Bob is left standing on the trailer with the rope in his hands going..”oh BEEP". Then he disbelievingly gazes at the clip. There it lay. It's brassy splendour shimmering in the refracted light under the waves as they gently caress the concrete slipway. The boat gracefully floating down the river. I was concerned. Billy-Bob was very concerned. Any thoughts of stripping off and diving in to rescue the boat..that may have been in my mind..got snuffed out almost as instantly as they entered my head. Nah BEEP that brother I ain't swimming in these waters at 6 o'clock in the morning. My eyes turned to Billy-Bob. Yep I was right, he's not diving in either. "She's floating back towards land he yells" as he back tracks along the trailer, bare feet gripping on monkey fashion to the framework.
Seeing this as an opportunity to be nowhere near the action I'm off like a shot..well cannon ball maybe..bit hard for lumbering ox's to be off like a shot. It's about this time I notice that there's not too many people out fishing. The trailer park is almost empty.
As I turned the corner (Luckily for us) I noticed a boat hooked up to this Ute. A bloke standing close by scoffing down his brekkie. I said.."hey mate..can we borrow ya boat"? lookin at me like I'm suffering from mad cows disease he says.."not today mate I'm using it". Thinking smart arse and puffing from me short sprint (fat blokes ain't good at running) I shout back.."we lost our boat..LOOK"!
Globules of milk from his cracked lips spray forth before dribbling down his stubbly dial and splashing back into his cornflakes bowl. He raises one finger in the direction of the water and he chokes out.."Bloody Hell". In one spiralling motion he places his bowl down whilst fumbling for his keys. Picking up speed he heads towards his Ute as fast as his trotters will carry him. Weird how things go in slow motion when you’re watching an emergency? True.
At around this time Billy-Bob ambles up from the boat ramp. He had a look on his face you usually see when a bloke has recently recovered from a vasectomy! Thinking quickly I appease his pain by screaming "we ain't never catching her now Billy-Bob"! Billy-Bobs forlorn face had pitying him so i quickly followed that with..."but that bloke might". It's what all good mates do to friends in a moment imminent of crisis, take the piss!
Thank Christ your here Billy-Bob blurts out.."Lets go". The relief on his face is immediate and made more apparent as he thanks the guy a thousand times or so in three seconds. The excitement has got to me too so I take off for a squirt behind the hedge...prostrate what can I say!
Quick as a flash it's trailer down the ramp, boat in and they're off. From the Safety of the bankside I watch the recovery of the boat. Which was well done I have to say, I half expected someone to fall in.
By now I have been joined by the good samaritans good lady. Breakfast bowl in one hand spoon in the other she turns to me and ryely comments, " you don't see that very often". The humorous side has taken effect and I burst out larfin. Between giggles I manage to retort ..”nah you certainly don't".
We continue to exchange a few words and niceties before I wander back to the boat ramp to greet the salvage team. I look at Billy-Bob and say.." and for your next trick Mistro". He looks at me and cracks up. Still smiling I ask.."I guess it's back to the ol spliced loop mate..and BEEP the clip".
With all the excitement over and Billy-Bob’s lil ship back safe, our good samaritan is showered in monumentous amounts of gratitude and we head off into the river. Arms waving we disappear up the river..bye..thankyou..bye..thankyou..our voices gently fade away into the gentle hum of the fourstroke outboard.
With a start to the day like this one we knew things could only get better. And they did. Billy-Bob and John fished happily ever after..well for a day anyway. The rest as they say is..I was gonna say history..but really it'll turn into Childers folk lore coz it's funny sh!t!



Childers Fishing Camping & Homebrew

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Re: boat ramp mishap
« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2011, 10:16:18 AM »
hahaha good story, told very well ;) would have been an exciting event..

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Re: boat ramp mishap
« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2011, 12:51:02 PM »
Childerfish, if the shop does'nt work out I reckon you have a future in writing, top story :thanks

Cheers Andrew

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Re: boat ramp mishap
« Reply #3 on: June 09, 2011, 12:59:43 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D Ya know Billy-Bob doesn't deserve protecting.  We need his name.  And I'm a bit disappointed you didn't have the camera on hand to record this for posterity.

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Re: boat ramp mishap
« Reply #4 on: June 09, 2011, 01:42:39 PM »
cheers guys. if was to name st.... he might beat me senseless..or worse stop buying from me..lol. Yes I did stuff up and not have a camera or even my phone with me. I thought that when i caught the salmon..self inflicted upper..thaaaawacko.. :OMG that hurts!  ;)

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Re: boat ramp mishap
« Reply #5 on: June 13, 2011, 09:18:50 PM »
Thanks for the read

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Re: boat ramp mishap
« Reply #6 on: June 14, 2011, 06:19:21 AM »
Very well told story! Thanks

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Re: boat ramp mishap
« Reply #7 on: June 14, 2011, 07:21:27 PM »
No worries guys & thanks. I met the guy in question in the shop today. I had sent him a copy of this story..and one or two to selective people we both know. One guy was in the shop when he came in. First question..where's ya boat? then heaps of laughs. Apparently Billy-Bob has sent the story to one or two of his mates so good sense of humour all round. the most important thing is he bought something..phew.. ;) :D

 

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